It is so nice to be back to blogging. I have to be honest, I have had writer’s block, I’ve been stressed, and this year I started off with a good cry. 2017 was a humbling experience, for in those moments I concluded being comfortable is not the way to live life. Living comfortably makes me live a repetitious life. That is, going through the same problems, experiencing the same things in life, and just being in the same spot. It is still. It is boring. It is not where I want to be. I guess you can call this a little fast.
In the beginning of the month I came across a video on youtube on how social media contributes to depression. Long story short, whenever we log in to social media and see that we have notifications waiting for us, it is a shot of endorphin (that happy hormone that we can attain through a good steady run). As humans we need to stay active, but we also need human contact as well. Now because we are in the age of technology, both of those needs have been stunted. While the benefit of convenience comes from social media (not having to get up and travel to see anyone), we lack in several other areas of our life which is now taking a toll on our overall health. Instead of physical and mental benefits of attaining a runner’s high from a nice jog with a friend (social benefits), we rely on a notification or like from people we have not seen in months or even years to reaffirm that we are indeed being thought of. And when we don’t receive a certain amount of likes or a response in an efficient amount of time, we question our self-worth.
For those reasons, and allocating my time in a more productive way, is what led me to leave social media for the month of January. January being the beginning of not only a new month but a new year, I noticed I start my new years off disappointed. I spend the last week and a half of December planning my year and setting my goals and when the new year comes, while starting can be hard, the hardest part is being consistent. A lot of the reason is because I find myself comparing where others are in their journey to where I am. While this can be motivating, it is mostly depressing for me personally. Social media accidentally puts me in this position a lot of times. There were a couple of things I was able to do in this month:
- Reclaiming My Time: not only do I have a daughter to care for, but I am a student and also pursuing an acting career. I also have financial, mental, and physical goals I wish to achieve. And while I have social goals, social media is not the only place I can enjoy a conversation. Killing two birds with one stone has always been important to me ever since I learned what it meant. Working smarter, and not harder allows me to complete tasks quicker and allows me more time to relax with my family and pursue my dreams (that’s all I really want to do).
- Focusing on my Studies: Without having a planner (I still need to get one, but the one I want is expensive), I have been able to allocate my time efficiently to my classes and complete my assignments early. I have also learned how to further engage with my classmates (who said online classes are boring?).
- Networking & discovering new things: I have gotten around to doing things I said I would and with that I have met some new contacts! I met a real-estate agent in the salon through talking about God. I was also finally able to finish reading this book (review coming soon) and by the end of the book, I found more resources for auditions—I’ve been looking for this information for a year.
- Learning from my environment: I was able to watch those around me in their phones and see how robotic and uniform we look as a whole. There is something unsettling about that. Not being able to hold a good conversation with those around you because of the lack of knowing how to. I can’t really blame this mostly on social media but social media does not help the situation either. While social media raises our awareness of what is going on in the world, why not have a conscious discussion face-to-face versus in an online forum?
While there were some benefits to not being on social media, there were also some challenges.
- I was a little lonely: While I have interactions with my family and coworkers, I still felt disconnected because a lot of people were in their phones. But one of my goals were to be in tuned with myself and to focus more on me.
- Missed out on news: I only have internet, so I had to log on for the news (weather mostly) or if I needed to contact someone. I did get side tracked and found myself scrolling, but I immediately realized that I wasn’t missing anything and was able to log off and get back to schedule.
- Motivation: I get a lot of my motivation from bloggers and instagramers (fitness and diet). It was hard to find motivation in myself to upkeep my fitness and diet goals, but it is what I needed. Learning to lean on myself, finding my strength in my weaknesses were the goals.
I overall believe this was quite beneficial. I can see myself doing this during the work week with social media during the weekends or nonconsecutive days on social media to remaining consistent with promoting my brand and staying connected, but remembering to look up at the world right in front of me is more beneficial. What are the pros and cons of social media for you? Tell me what you think in the comments. Here’s to reconnecting and catching up,
I have had a writer’s block and have been confused as to which direction I want this blog to go. I try to tailor this blog to reflect as I evolve. I am at a crossroad. I’ve been contemplating letting this go because I have not been consistent. I pay for my domain each year and I am questioning if that was the right move. I may just drop down a plan until I am able to be consistent and a solid direction has been followed. Right now, I just don’t know..
Starting Your Career As An Actor Jason Pugatch
If you don’t know already, my dream is to be an actress. While still working on my schedule to free up time to pursue acting as well as raise my daughter, finish school, and work a full-time jobsjfnsjlfnwgwkg!!!#* (so much to do),
I remembered this quote:
“Accept the things you can’t change; have the courage to change the things which you can; and have the wisdom to know the difference.
A friend I met at work who was interested in acting came to work with an improv book and literally told me she checked it out at the library. Something so simple and resourceful, its literally a 5 min drive to the library. So one day I went on a whim, asked to be pointed in the right direction and there! All of my questions answered in this one book.
This is a good reference guide for anyone interested in acting. Whether you’re looking to start, not sure where the work is, tips on finding the right agent and headshots, as well as stories from actors themselves and what they went through. I looked up the actors and the work they’ve done to see if I recognized any, and I came across The Punisher (Jon Bernthal—I love Marvel and Netflix!).
Broke Millennial Erin Lowry
This is for anyone on the road to financial freedom. College students, Parents, teenagers, Young adults, even adults mid-age and older! It’s never too late to get right financially. I actually started reading this book the end of last year, but it was kind of a guide to my financial goals for this year. Erin (the author) is a little (ok a lot of) frugal, but she means well. She speaks on saving, investing (my focus area), as well as paying down debts. She talks about more but these were the areas that stuck out to me. She does it in a way that keeps the reader’s (for us millennials) attention.
Willie Lynch Letter William (Willie) Lynch
For those who don’t know, I am African American. To my fellow A.A.’s, this they didnt teach us in school. Knowledge is infinite and we should always seek it. I RECOMMEND THIS LETTER TO EVERY BLACK FAMILY & INDIVIDUAL. After reading this, I can only speak for myself. But it it a clear picture how we as black men and women move. How we operate, how we think. This letter is about the taming of the black slave. The method used on taming a horse influenced the taming of a slave. I warn you now, this will change your life forever and if it doesn’t make you want to do something about past, current, as well as prevent future events, please seek help. This letter not only humbles me, but it makes me pay attention to everything that I am saying, how I am raising my daughter, as well as how I treat myself and others. After you read it, pass it on. Make others aware.
You, Inc.: The Art of Selling Yourself Harry Beckwith and Christine Clifford
Create a personal library and make this one of the very first books. Personal success, business success, simple communication with others. Read it. You never know what you could be missing. On another note, this book reminds me to remember service. Through service you can reach anyone. I learned mindfulness, and how to speak to others, and marketing tips. I believe marketing can be universal, not exactly selling things but the power of persuasion and networking. CREATIVES THIS IS YOUR GOLDEN TICKET. MAKE IT WORK FOR YOU!
Year of Yes! Shonda Rhimes
If you like Grey’s Anatomy, then you’ll love this. The dialogue in that show is Shonda to the T. To the mothers out there struggling for a personal identity and making time to do it all. Spend time with your children, go on that trip you have been planning forever, take that new job opportunity. Dare to say yes! You will love the outcome. From what I have read (still reading), I have to meet this women—hell, I have to at least land a guest role on one of her shows.
The Marshmallow Test: Mastering Self Control Dr. Walter Mischel
Weight loss, financial freedom, etc. self control is the root cause. I just started reading this after seeing someone post this on instagram about three years ago. Only into the first chapter I feel like this book arrived at the perfect time. I happened to stumble across this book in the library. I had every intention to by this as its in my booklist on amazon prime. Two words, Delayed Gratification. Everyone should read this, parents raising their children (teach them early) as well as individuals (save now, have more later).
This is not my full reading list. I think I’ll post a list of books I plan to get to. What have you read? Like Comment and Share!
Where Am I Now
If I could sum up my life as it is right now in one word— Growing Pains (and that’s two words..)
Everything is happening to me at once. I have been put into positions where I am forced to grow, to change my normal way of doing things in order to move forward. I am being forced out of my comfort zone to reach my full potential. I guess I thought I could just go around that and hope people see this amazing person that I know that I am and that is dying to be set free, but I have always stepped on my own shoes. As the days go by, I learn something about myself. I have been so confused about what my problem is exactly and to be honest that is hard to answer. I never knew where to start which was frustrating. I have started off small. Things that I noticed about myself that bothered me I ask myself if they are really that bad. So bad to the point where it was affecting my well being. If yes, than I had to be consciously aware of this and to catch myself and force myself to go into another direction. Okay, maybe not force but slowly make moves to break these habits. For example:
I compare myself to others and entertain their opinions of me.
This is a complicated one for me here. But not really. I am constantly around people. Work, Social Media, Online classes. Constantly working towards the approval of everyone else of my performance. Constantly maintaining a certain standard and putting my best foot forward. Trying to be perfect when in fact, no one is even paying attention to me.
I speak a good game but it’s easier said than done.
“Motivation is what gets you started.
Habit is what keeps you going.”
5 by 5 rule:
If it’s not gonna matter in five years,
Don’t spend five minutes being upset about it.
If there is no enemy within,
The enemy outside can do no harm.
I got this tag from Jenny In Neverland, so I decided to share a few of my favorites this month.
- Yoga: while I have been slacking on exercising, I have started some simple morning yoga poses to jumpstart my day. I try to do them in the a.m. oddly, Tamia has allowed me to do them!
- Reading: on my early days I work I’m up at 6 am, the first 30 minutes I try to read. For the past month, I’ve been reading The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership by John C. Maxwell. This read has me not only reflecting on my own level of leadership, but I have been in observance of the leaders around me (or there lack of) analyzing their style of taking initiative and taking notes. Highly suggest it. I found the book on thriftbooks for $4.19.
- Learning: if you don’t know already, I love to learn. As I am still waiting on my decision letter for University, I have in the meantime enrolled myself in a self-paced Speed Reading course! At the time it was $10.00 on Groupon (a $199 value) for full access to this course on skillsuccess.com. They also have other various types of courses. I also found a Voiceover Course. I’m really excited about this one but wanted to take the Speed Reading course first as I believe this will be highly beneficial on my journey to success.
- Youtuber Andrea Lewis: if anyone is familiar with the Canadian Show: Degrassi, she portrayed Hazel Aden in the show. I came across her page looking for acting videos. She has an entire show called Black Actress (2 Seasons worth) that starts with interviewing famous black actresses like Essence Adkins, Aisha Hinds, & Erica Hubbard. They give life lessons on the industry, tips on auditioning process, etc. Currently, I love her self-love Saturday segments.
What are your favorite activities/things right now?
I’m gonna add another goal to the second half of this year as I have been lying to myself and trying to fake it until I make it. Learning to love myself for who I am (I have flaws as well as my highlights). We all naturally insinuate our strengths, but sweep our weaknesses under the rug if we can’t address them.
I have big dreams. I maybe leading off as if what I am about to say sounds like it intangible but the reality is this: most don’t make it, though few do. The difference between the some from the few? While both have a come-to-Jesus moment in their journey, was what they did about it in the end. Most allow their circumstances dictate their next move, their reaction, their outcome. Few in that moment, change their way of thinking to mold that circumstance to work for them getting them a step closer to where they want to be.
I feel for that to happen, I have to be completely honest with myself. Which I’ve never been. So I need to add one more goal to my Mid-Year Goals. I officially claim this Self-Love journey I’ve unknowingly been on. Step one: Recognizing & Accepting the things about myself I can’t change. For the things I can change, plan & execute.
No one can produce great things who is not thoroughly sincere in dealing with himself.
-James Russell Lovell
Until Next Time,