When things hit the fan…

I had to cut my hours in half, 

I’m failing my classes,

I have no babysitter,

And my faith has been rocky since the year started. 

This is when I finally let go and let God.

I still don’t understand the art of being “still”. 

Not doing anything and letting God guide me. 

Is that literal? I take it that way, but I still have todo something. I can’t just quit my job and school and sit around. Maybe that’s too literal. 

Maybe it’s me controlling what I can and accepting what I can not:

I think Gods been tryna tell me for a while to just chill out… 

Idk what do you do in this situation? Every semester I attempt to take a class and I either drop one of am struggling to finish. I don’t want to mess up my financial aid. So I think I’m going to just focus on Tamia, working (maybe a trade), and.. Discovering myself. That I haven’t done yet. 

I fee like I’ve been doing what everyone else has wanted me to do. What I felt they’d like. I’m tired of living for everyone else. I just don’t want to do this anymore..

I lift my hands and surrender. I’ve finally broken down and don’t care who knows it. I need to officially start over.

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