Hiatus: Life Update

Where Am I Now

If I could sum up my life as it is right now in one word— Growing Pains (and that’s two words..)

Everything is happening to me at once. I have been put  into positions where I am forced to grow, to change my normal way of doing things in order to move forward. I am being forced out of my comfort zone to reach my full potential. I guess I thought I could just go around that and hope people see this amazing person that I know that I am and that is dying to be set free, but I have always stepped on my own shoes. As the days go by, I learn something about myself. I have been so confused about what my problem is exactly and to be honest that is hard to answer. I never knew where to start which was frustrating. I have started off small. Things that I noticed about myself that bothered me I ask myself if they are really that bad. So bad to the point where it was affecting my well being. If yes, than I had to be consciously aware of this and to catch myself and force myself to go into another direction. Okay, maybe not force but slowly make moves to break these habits. For example:

I compare myself to others and entertain their opinions of me. 

This is a complicated one for me here. But not really. I am constantly around people. Work, Social Media, Online classes. Constantly working towards the approval of everyone else of my performance. Constantly maintaining a certain standard and putting my best foot forward. Trying to be perfect when in fact, no one is even paying attention to me.

I speak a good game but it’s easier said than done. 

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