Ima get a lil personal: I believe in my studies working for my benefit not just the school’s pockets. One area that I struggle in is anger. So I decided to independently study anger management. I submitted this as a discussion board response and thought this should be shared:
My daughter’s father is the only person that I have seen manages their anger well. He has a way with handling anger in a way that I can feed off of his energy which calms me down. With out saying anything directly, his actions make me examine mine— which is usually why I find myself in the hot seat more so than him. He also never allows me to see the beginning stages of his anger process, but I can tell when he is working through it. That has instilled patience in me for him and others in similar situations. This is the healthiest way for managing one’s anger for all parties involved (that I have experienced). He chooses his words wisely and effectively gets his point across without making me feel like I am wrong or angering me. His words are like putting a mirror to my face of my actions all while explaining his point of view.
Slick talking something or another.. a blessing and a curse. I say that because he has never used his words to take advantage of me (I have no common sense I catch on to things very late lol) and he genuinely means well. Which is the blessing. The curse is I can’t get away with doing or saying anything meaningless and think I can live in my wrongs. (But a curse doesn’t lead to growth so.. maybe I got it wrong..) He just won’t allow that. We’re not together but as I encounter other men and listen to their words (especially ones who I would consider dating), understand if they’re not on this level of communication, that’s dead. God has revealed to me a trait in this man that I require moving forward because— I need it. God sends a mate as a helper (Genesis 2:18), and communication is something that might be a struggle for me. If you can’t identify when we converse my struggle of understanding (which is usually the case), then you don’t want this problem lol. I’m just being transparent and honest (and it feels good).
I say all of this to say that in this season of singleness, through my weaknesses God has helped me to see not only the wants but the needs I should look for in a potential mate. This is not to say that I won’t work on those weaknesses until God sends the help but.. Are we asking for the right things? Do we know what to ask for?