Only one word to describe how felt, joy. We finally came to terms with having to hire a babysitter. At first, we were panicking. Because of our experiences as children being around them, and especially those we didn’t know. Kids can be mean and a lot of people claim to be babysitters and don’t carry out the task to the best of their abilities. Ideally, we’d like to keep her at home with us where we know she is safe. But life happens and you have to do, what you have to do.
On a leap of faith, thankfully a close friend of mine has experience and enjoys babysitting. She also has a son of her own and is such a sweetheart. We decided to try her out and allow her to babysit Tamia. I think everything works out with us only having one car to get to and from work, and it being 2-3 hours and only 3 days a week she would have to babysit before I get off. I will eventually work longer hours or want to leisurely do something, so we decided it is best if we ease her into this transition. She has been at home with one of us since she was born (with the exception of having mom or grandma babysit sometimes).
She did well for her first day, actually better than being with a relative! She cried 15 minutes after being dropped off but did better than we thought! When I came to get her I was in awe seeing her interact with the other kids. Especially the little girl in the photo (they’re one month apart).
This has been a long 11 months, since I gave birth to my daughter. In honor of World Breastfeeding Week, I’d like to share with you my journey:
It started out rough as I could not get her to latch on in the hospital following her birth. The nurse thought she was being stubborn and just didn’t want to latch on. There were a few times of success but it wasn’t easy. I felt defeated at times because I had to feed her formula almost immediately in the hospital which I did not want to do, but I couldn’t starve her…
We later discovered at her pediatrician (at the time) that her tongue needed to be snipped on its underside, which was preventing its extension outward. Her tongue wouldn’t extended past her lips out of her mouth which eventually would have caused problems with opening her mouth for a bottle. Her dad and I decided to allow the minor no surgical procedure. It did bleed a little but almost instantly stopped and I was instructed to go ahead and nurse immediately after which calmed her down. I was brought to tears because I was finally able to feed my baby everything she needed…
I did continue to supplement with formula. While I was not able to nurse her, I pumped Every two to three hours to keep my supply going. As the months passed and when I was able to nurse of course, that diminished.
Currently, I have I stopped pumping, and nursed during her snack times as she is currently on solids. At 11 months, I am still breastfeeding at night, as I am struggling to get her off the boob for night feedings. It’s a constant battle because that’s how I get her to sleep. And other ways have not worked for me (dad can sing and rock her to sleep but she doesn’t expect that from me). She won’t even sleep in the crib if I’m around. Her current pediatrician says one step at a time. I am currently trying to get her onto 2% milk by her birthday because, that is when I will plan to stop breastfeeding. For now I am going to reduce her nursing sessions to mayb just at night or once during the day and the night feedings. Giving her more 2%, I have hopes of weaning all together by next month.
Overall, I have enjoyed our moments we have as I nurse her. I love when she caresses my breast and she glares at me as if it is the safest place in the word for her. We’ve recently shared a moment where I make her giggle while she is feeding which melts my heart and doesn’t help me with making the decision of weaning (laughs). I am looking forward to the next steps in her development as she gets bigger and am eager to see where else our journey takes us!
Such a magical day..
I spent my time helping my baby to sleep better and cleaning, followed by receiving a few gifts accompanied with a few phone calls, a visit from my mom.
a stroll through Sandy Bottom Nature Park, & a trip to Cici’s Pizza. I couldn’t ask for anything more. I’m so blessed and thankful for receiving two more charms to add to my Pandora Bracelet:
Now I’m not materialistic, but this bracelet means a lot to me. It was the first time I received a not just expensive (not that price matters—it really doesn’t) but thoughtful gift (in a relationship). And even though we are no longer together, it makes me feel even more valued to still receive gifts.
Today allowed me to reflect on not just my duties as a mother, but the task that God has called upon me to carry out. Last year on this day, I couldn’t appreciate it. I didn’t feel like a mother because Tamia had not yet been born, so when I went to church with my mother and kept receiving wishes, I grew angry. I didn’t feel like a mother. Everything was new to me, I was scared I would fail, and kept being told everything would be alright when I was trying to rationalize that idea in my head on top of struggling from paycheck to paycheck and had withdrawn from my college courses, unsure if I’d go back in the fall.
But as I’ve said before after introducing you all to Tamia, she’s been nothing more than a blessing. She’s been a motivator, a pick-me-up, my pride (for I don’t have many) and my joy in waking up everyday.
I look forward to waking up. With a purpose, I strive to get things done in the most effective way possible for, she is my purpose.
Here’s to a great Mother’s Day & many more to come with my little beauty.
Hope you mothers cherished yours.