This year has to be a year to remember. It has to change. For years I’ve been wanting a different outlook on life. I’ve always been this person who was too shy or timid to do or say anything. I was conservative and didn’t want anyone laughing at me for trying anything different. My acting teacher from high school phrased it as a “stupid wall”. That wall where awkwardness makes you too nervous to sustain certain moments so you just walk away from them hoping you and especially anyone else involved forgets about it because it was just too embarrassing. Yeah, that seems to have ruled my life entirely too much. I let it overpower my better judgement and impulses.
This year I want to take charge of my being. I want full control and awareness of what I am doing. I want to be able to demand attention just by walking in the door. I want to live life with no regrets, now this doesn’t mean that I wish to go crazy and turn up all the time. But I want to do things and actually enjoy myself instead of feeling like the party pooper all of the time.
What makes this year so different from the past? Well I have a daughter who counts on me to be the best person I can be and to protect and provide for her. I have to be great and I will. I declare it in Jesus’ name! Am I scared? Yes! Will I let my fear stop me? No. If you haven’t guessed it already, I do have a New Years Resolutions so stay tuned for that.
I went to church this morning and the sermon was all about moving forward. I loved how Pastor Young used an actual marine to illustrate the word. He being s veteran, he was able to explain that no matter what branch a soldier was in, they received the same basic training so each brother knew what the other was about to do before it was even done. I actually take notes during service and it reads:
Just because you make a move doesn’t mean you’re ready to move forward.
It doesn’t mean you’re leaving all your troubles behind.
The same problem can affect you differently when you’re in a different place.
Letter written by Apostle Paul to Philippian church. He founded that ministry.
Apprehended: Latin word: katalambano (to seize or take possession)
“I’m just like you”, Paul to the people.
The more you grow the more you realize what you don’t know.
Soldiers mentality (two steps for one overall action)
Preparatory Command: forgetting those things behind me
Command of Execution: reach forth to the things which are ahead
Somethings you gotta let go when it’s time to move forward
Natural & Spiritual
Power dunamus: internal power
exucia: power of authority
God spoke to Pastor Young today to ask me to fast if I could. To find something to give up for 7 days starting at midnight tonight until Saturday night at midnight. I feel this in my heart to do. I couldn’t think of what to give up accept for sweets. I have decided to give up simple sugars for the next 7 days and only eat complex ones (fruits). The last time I fasted (which was once before), God moved mountains for me. And I feel the time has come again (most opportune, right before classes begin) to do so. Right now I’m going to try to meditate and talk to God.
For those who aren’t familiar with fasting, it is depriving your flesh (body) of a habit that you may allow your self to depend on heavily, and allowing God to take over. I feel like I’ve been heavily eating on sweets lately and I’m supposed to be changing up my diet. A lot is about to happen in the next week, so I need to get my mind right.
My motivator motivated me by accomplishing a new baby milestone to start off our year! She’s sitting up and talking up a gibberish!
With that being said I’m starting my first attempt at meditation tonight with this app I discovered called Breathe. It has step by step tools on how to get started and even explains the art of meditation!
Until Next Time,
Happy New Year!