Social Media Hiatus: What I learned

It is so nice to be back to blogging. I have to be honest, I have had writer’s block, I’ve been stressed, and this year I started off with a good cry. 2017 was a humbling experience, for in those moments I concluded being comfortable is not the way to live life. Living comfortably makes me live a repetitious life. That is, going through the same problems, experiencing the same things in life, and just being in the same spot. It is still. It is boring. It is not where I want to be. I guess you can call this a little fast.

In the beginning of the month I came across a video on youtube on how social media contributes to depression. Long story short, whenever we log in to social media and see that we have notifications waiting for us, it is a shot of endorphin (that happy hormone that we can attain through a good steady run). As humans we need to stay active, but we also need human contact as well. Now because we are in the age of technology, both of those needs have been stunted. While the benefit of convenience comes from social media (not having to get up and travel to see anyone), we lack in several other areas of our life which is now taking a toll on our overall health. Instead of physical and mental benefits of attaining a runner’s high from a nice jog with a friend (social benefits), we rely on a notification or like from people we have not seen in months or even years to reaffirm that we are indeed being thought of. And when we don’t receive a certain amount of likes or a response in an efficient amount of time, we question our self-worth.

For those reasons, and allocating my time in a more productive way, is what led me to leave social media for the month of January. January being the beginning of not only a new month but a new year, I noticed I start my new years off disappointed. I spend the last week and a half of December planning my year and setting my goals and when the new year comes, while starting can be hard, the hardest part is being consistent. A lot of the reason is because I find myself comparing where others are in their journey to where I am. While this can be motivating, it is mostly depressing for  me personally. Social media accidentally puts me in this position a lot of times. There were a couple of things I was able to do in this month:

  1. Reclaiming My Time: not only do I have a daughter to care for, but I am a student and also pursuing an acting career. I also have financial, mental, and physical goals I wish to achieve. And while I have social goals, social media is not the only place I can enjoy a conversation. Killing two birds with one stone has always been important to me ever since I learned what it meant. Working smarter, and not harder allows me to complete tasks quicker and allows me more time to relax with my family and pursue my dreams (that’s all I really want to do).
  2. Focusing on my Studies: Without having a planner (I still need to get one, but the one I want is expensive), I have been able to allocate my time efficiently to my classes and complete my assignments early. I have also learned how to further engage with my classmates (who said online classes are boring?).
  3. Networking & discovering new things: I have gotten around to doing things I said I would and with that I have met some new contacts! I met a real-estate agent in the salon through talking about God. I was also finally able to finish reading this book (review coming soon) and by the end of the book, I found more resources for auditions—I’ve been looking for this information for a year.
  4. Learning from my environment: I was able to watch those around me in their phones and see how robotic and uniform we look as a whole. There is something unsettling about that. Not being able to hold a good conversation with those around you because of the lack of knowing how to. I can’t really blame this mostly on social media but social media does not help the situation either. While social media raises our awareness of what is going on in the world, why not have a conscious discussion face-to-face versus in an online forum?

While there were some benefits to not being on social media, there were also some challenges.

  1. I was a little lonely: While I have interactions with my family and coworkers, I still felt disconnected because a lot of people were in their phones. But one of my goals were to be in tuned with myself and to focus more on me.
  2. Missed out on news: I only have internet, so I had to log on for the news (weather mostly) or if I needed to contact someone. I did get side tracked and found myself scrolling, but I immediately realized that I wasn’t missing anything and was able to log off and get back to schedule.
  3. Motivation: I get a lot of my motivation from bloggers and instagramers (fitness and diet). It was hard to find motivation in myself to upkeep my fitness and diet goals, but it is what I needed. Learning to lean on myself, finding my strength in my weaknesses were the goals.

I overall believe this was quite beneficial. I can see myself doing this during the work week with social media during the weekends or nonconsecutive days on social media to remaining consistent with promoting my brand and staying connected, but remembering to look up at the world right in front of me is more beneficial. What are the pros and cons of social media for you? Tell me what you think in the comments. Here’s to reconnecting and catching up,

I’m back!

T.

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10 Pounds Down!!

I didn’t think I was doing enough.
I mean I have changed up my eating habits for the better, but I occasionally work up a good sweat. I should definitely take more walks with the baby. That allowed me to get some cardio in for the day, and it put her down for a good nap. After I injured my back, it has healed but there is still some strain there. I decided to take it easy and stretch as much as I can. Sitting down at a desk I find doesn’t help too much. I think I was so discouraged about everything that I just decided to avoid the weight scale for a few weeks. Well today I decided to go ahead and get on for the heck of it…

Well I’ll be… 

I haven’t been under 200 pounds since I was in middle school! So understand that this is a celebration. 

DO IT NOW!

A couple of nights ago, I dreamt of someone I knew assuring me the time was/is now. To do it, go for it!

I strongly believe God was speaking to me through that person. I still can’t  place face to that person but i think that was the point. I believe that is how I am certain it was God giving me a message  for who can place face to him? Who has seen him other than Jesus himself? But I  know I am fond of the vessel He used and have endearing respect for them. I felt spiritually connected.

I know it was God. We were sitting across from each other and the vessels hands were balled up and planted firm on the table. Its’ posture was assuring and upright. As if she was of a righteous background. When I had awakened, I knew exactly what I needed to do..

I’m here to tell you if you been feeling like I have but just haven’t been sure if it was the right time or even how to start, the time is now. Get started. Even if it is just planning, get to work! 

God bless you guys. Until Next Time,

T.

A Shift is in Affect.

Just when I thought I was in this journey myself, the one person I thought I couldn’t count on, is here. 

My siblings & I relationship with one another was compromised growing up because of the relationship our parents had with one another. Actually it was nonexistent. My mother’s strong hate for my father led to resentment in even having his children, I like to believe where her mean spirit stemmed from. It was to the point where we grew to forget how to cohabit in the same house with one another. We didn’t speak to each other, and when we did it was a quarrel the entire conversation. Even when we tried to be civil, it was awkward. We all as an end result, shut down. 

We eventually as teenagers found a corner, and stayed to ourselves. A quiet house. Out of site, out of mind.

I thought this would carry on into adulthood, hoping it magically wouldn’t. Because then, I just couldn’t see things getting better between us. I thought we’d always be damaged. I came to terms with this being my reality. Never really having a close relationship with my siblings. But I’ll be…

I asked God for what I wanted and needed and he his giving me things I hadn’t even thought to ask. He is taking care of problems that I but tied in the back of my mind and long forgot about. 

I knew it was a reason why my brother has been visiting more frequently, he wants a relationship with me. He wants to stay in contact. He wants to help our siblings… and me! He went far as to say if I needed to borrow some money from him— if he has it, then so do I. This is a big step from “I’m moving far, and won’t nobody even have my number.”

… Faith without works is dead. I’m far from finished. 

Until Next Time,

T.

It’s June: Writer’s Block

I’ve been trying to scratch that itch to blog. And it hasn’t been going too well. I think about it everyday. It’s been like two propelled magnets: I am one, the computer the other. 

You see, I’ve been wanting to launch my blog and expect for readers to automatically gravitate. I know I have a lot to say that’s worth reading. So here’s what’s been holding me back: 

  1. How to convey my thoughts and ideas: I want to lifestyle blog, but I read and hear everywhere that it’s too broad and I will have trouble with grabbing the attention of readers. But I’ve been struggling with narrowing it down to just one. Understand, every decision I make in life, big or small, is a life decision. Sometimes I honestly believe that’s the hardest kind of person you can be in life. Everything is stressful and after finally making a decision, you still continue to wonder, “What if I chose differently?” Then, you ponder on the things you missed out on and yadda-yadda. But, I digress. This is what’s been keeping me from moving forward blogging.
  2. The process of launching a successful blog: I’m still trying to figure out the ins and outs of blogging. Do I need to come out of pocket for my blog to be successful financially? Buying my own domain and paying for more appealing layout? I’ve just discovered email subscriptions. So much to learn! Where to begin!? It’s all me scared away. 
  3. Priorities: being a full-time mom, and trying to land another gig (just finished a contracted job, now it’s interview after interview) knowing rent is due again next month.. Blogging is still on my mind! You thought I’d say it’s the last thing I’m worried about? No,no. It’s still an area of interest. I would love to create a passive income. 

So there was this webinar that I’ve reviewed about a week prior that gave me some ideas on how to get started. And then it dawned on me that I have commitment issues. 

I’ve never carried out a project to its entirety unless there was a grade or consequence to it being incomplete. You know, I think this is the first time that I’ve admitted that out loud. Why do I start something and never finish it when my life is centered around setting goals? I love goals, they’re my motivators to living life! 

Anywho, one of the suggestions was to spy on my potential audience: i.e. read comments on posts pertaining to my interests and see what readers thought the writer lacked and solve those problems. While I thought, genius move, what if I don’t want to do that? I agreed with the first suggestion, to see what readers are saying to writers, but had a hard time wrapping my head around part 2. I decided to take the host of the webinars advice, I just began to explore WordPress a little more. In doing that I looked into more of what my areas of interest were, and in doing that I found a topic that brings my entire lifestyle blog into one category: self-help. 

In reading more posts about this topic, I stumbled across an exercise to do when my mental is feeling clouded: prompts..

    Transformation
    : the act of transforming (to undergo a change in form, appearance, or character; become transformed)

    This is the stage in which I am in my life. I just completed a contracted position and have not landed anything else. So this is the perfect time to start my ventures. It’s like I’m in metamorphosis. I’m brewing, I’m nesting, and soon I will hatch, scream! Ready to take on the world.